How can it be?

Time is flying faster and faster.

I'm still unemployed and while that's depressing, it is kinda nice to be home. I get to put the kids on the bus in the morning, there have been a couple times I've gone and had lunch with them at school, and I can welcome them home after school.

But, there's that money thing. Or the lack thereof. Things will be tighter now. Mike's health insurance finally kicked in at work, which means his paychecks will be smaller. Quite a bit smaller. It's ridiculous how much health insurance costs to cover the entire family with medical, dental and vision. But how can you do without it?

At any rate, I just continue to hope that I find a job soon. Or win the lottery. Of course, you have to play to win. There goes that idea.

Amazing that it's October already. Soon we'll have a pile of candy we don't know what to do with. Heck, we know what to do with it. Eat it. We'll start putting up the massive amounts of Christmas lights while we're still buzzing from a "I-ate-the-kids-trick-or-treat-stash" sugar high.

And then, it's all down hill from there. Once Halloween is over, you may as well write off the remainder of the year. Because from then on it's NON. STOP.

Weekends are already busy, and by the time Thanksgiving is here, we're pretty much booked solid with parties, get togethers, baking, shopping, wrapping.....the list goes on.

I'm tired just thinking about it.

No, wait. I'm just tired. Period.

There hasn't been a lot of sleep lately. My poor boy came down with something on October 1st. Long story short; a visit to the doctor, no improvement and then a trip to urgent care finally got us a diagnosis on October 7. Pneumonia. Here we are on October 12, and he finally returned to school. He also finished his antibiotic this morning. And - most importantly - I think the cough is gone. I don't recall hearing him cough ONCE since he's been home from school. And it seems he was able to fall right asleep tonight.

This makes my heart soar!!! My poor boy would cough and cough - one night for an hour straight between 2 and 3 in the morning. He'd nearly throw up from all the coughing.

It kills me to see them sick. Especially when they really suffer with something. A normal cold doesn't typically knock them down. But when it's something that really makes them miserable.... it breaks my heart.

Little Sports Stars

In a little over a month, my son will be starting his second year of baseball. We are looking forward to it, even though my life goes from busy, to hectic.

And this year, we decided to make it even more crazily hectic by putting my daughter in a sport, too. She'll be playing soccer.

Yes, I am officially going to be a Baseball-Soccer Mom. I feel like I need to get decals on my car.

More importantly, I may need to clone myself. If there are overlaps with practices/games, I'm not sure how I'll have myself in 2 places at once if it happens to be when Mike is working. It sure is going to be a challenging few months!!

What's up in my world

I realize it has been a while since my last post. For awhile, I could barely stand to sit for any length of time, so my computer use was pretty limited. Now I'm able to sit, but the problems for me still continue. The pain has remained in my leg/ankle and I have since lost some feeling/strength in that foot. I just know I must look odd when I'm walking, because I can feel the difference in my walk from not having full control/feeling of my left foot.

I've had xrays, and now I'm looking at an MRI. My doctor is fairly certain it's a bulging or herniated disc, and he's concerned about paresis in my foot.

And then there's my daughter. She finished her last round of antibiotic this past Wednesday. At one point, she was scratching herself 'down there' and I figured we should schedule a doctor appointment for her to make sure everything cleared up. Friday evening she was not feeling well. Again, a low fever, headache and she was in and out of the bathroom feeling like she was going to throw up all night. We took her to the pediatrician Saturday morning, and while there's no more blood, there's still white cells, so she's on yet another antibiotic. We're going back again this Saturday, and may need to discuss further testing to see why this is happening.

So, while I'm freaking out about my own issues, I'm worrying about hers.

Here we go again

My little girl is sick again. Another UTI. It presented itself the same (headache & fever), and while it could have been numerous other things, I had this nagging in my gut.

Finally this evening just before 7pm, I gave in to my gut and off to urgent care we went. We just got back in a bit ago, and she's getting some sleep after having her first dose of antibiotic.

We were kept in there a little longer, as they wanted to make sure her fever was going down after administering some pain reliever.

I could cry......it was traumatic last time. I can't bear to see her go through this again....

End of the Week Update

First of all, thank you to everyone who left get well wishes for my little girl. She was very sick, and at one point was not eating, drinking and continue to vomit, so I feared we'd have to admit her into the hospital. Thankfully, the meds did their job and she is now feeling MUCH better. She's got a few more days left of her meds, but we're happy to have our little girl back (even if that does mean she's getting into trouble again!).

It has been a busy week; running school supplies to the classes and sending the oldest off to 1st grade. His first day was yesterday, and he came home happy and excited to share all about how the day went. Little girl starts preschool on Monday, but she got to visit her classroom and meet her teacher yesterday. Very exciting!

I'm feeling a bit under the weather. My allergies have been an issue and I went in to donate blood yesterday, and was turned away because my iron is much too low. Perhaps that explains the frequent headaches these days. I know it explains why I needed to go to bed at 9:30 last night, sleep 9 straight hours and I *still* feel like I could go back to bed. So, I'm making some diet changes and will be taking an iron supplement as well.

And then there's baseball. Sadly, the Cubs have been in a slump, but thankfully, so has Milwaukee. This has helped us get a bit closer to the post-season, but we've got to see some wins SOON!

I feel so helpless

My daughter is really sick. The sickest I've ever seen her, and it's breaking my heart. She's got a urinary tract infection and is dealing with headaches and vomitting. We made a late night trip to the urgent care last night, so I'm running on 3 hours of sleep.

I'm too worried to be tired, though.

Keep her in your thoughts & prayers.

Karate Kids

My little ones earned their white belts today....





Oh, and yeah .... their instructor .... hottie!

Happy Mother's Day!

I hope all my mommy readers have a fantastic day today!

I was treated to being able to sleep in til almost 10am! I haven't done that in -- well, a really looooooooong time. My son came in and handed me a handmade card complete with his footprint, a poem and a photo of him. He made it in school. And yesterday a cookie bouquet was delivered to me.



The plan for the rest of the (very rainy, yucky, dreary) day is to go out to eat and then my daughter has her very first dance recital tonight.

HAPPY MOM'S DAY!!!!

The Tooth Fairy Has Cometh

My oldest lost his first tooth this weekend. He was so proud to burst into our room the next morning, waving his $1 bill around that the Tooth Fairy had left him!

And this is the adorable smile we are blessed with each day now...

Ready to sell her to the gypsies

My 3.5 year old daughter is going to be the death of me. I'm not sure how much more I can handle of her not listening, drama queen, temper tantrum, attitude that she's got going on.

Every single day, she is up no more than 5 minutes and she's already looking for trouble. It doesn't matter what you do, don't do, or say....she keeps that shit up.

She's even got this attitude head/neck roll .... you know the one. As if she was saying "Oh no you didn't"

How early before you can send your child away to boarding school? You think I'm kidding.

I'm at my wits end.

I need a drink. Anyone looking to go out and par-tay tonight?

Happy Birthday My Boy!

Today was the big day.

On December 12, 2001 at 11:30pm, I became a mom.

My son entered this world and my life changed forever.

Happy Birthday Bubba! I love you with my entire being....

Pimples, Pox and other bumps of life

This morning my son was brushing his teeth while Grandma started to comb his hair. I was just about to walk out the door to leave for work, when she commented about a pimple on his forehead. I look, and say "Really?!? A pimple already?!?"

It wasn't until my mom lifted up his shirt that I thought, OH CRAP! Maybe it's not a pimple.

We find 5 more little 'pimples' on his back. That was all we could find and there's no other symptoms of anything.

So I call the pediatrician who instructs us to watch him for the next 12 hours, and as a precaution, to keep him home from school. If it's chicken pox, the pox will start changing. Since he's had the vaccination, it would be a "modified" version.

Now it's just a wait and see. The report I'm getting from home is that they all look the same so far. It's been about 6 hours from our first discovery.

My husband suggested that maybe it's just a heat rash (he's a very warm, sweaty kid, even when sleeping) - which I could definitely see as a possibility on the back, but I'm not too sure about the one on the forehead (there's another one right along the hairline, which I could also see as your head sweats and your hair gets wet).

Now to just see how he looks the rest of the night.

Mommy Tip

A week or so ago I was looking for a contact through our school district's website, and I happened to find a link to a website that the kindergartener's use. I played around on it for a few minutes, and thought, "Hey, I really should let Braeden play this at home. He's always asking to go on hotwheels.com and such, so this would be perfect!"

Time didn't allow for computer play since then, so when Melissa posted about it on her blog, I made a mental note to make time for Braeden to use it.

He was excited to be able to play on Mommy's computer, and when I brought up the website his eyes lit up like a Christmas tree!

"HEY! That's what we have at school!" he exclaims.

And he proceeded to play on it for an hour and half. I sat by him and watched for a bit, and it's really neat. Easy for them to navigate, and it's got all sorts of fun pictures, animations, sounds and music.

If you've got preschool/kindergarten age kiddos, check it out!

It's all my fault

I've been thinking a lot about this ADHD stuff, and decided to email Braeden's teacher today to get some insight about his behavior at school. Someone on one of my online groups mentioned that some kids feel act up once their home because they are "cooped up" at school throughout the day. So, I thought why not ask the person he's with for a few hours five days a week.

She called me after school this afternoon. She's noticed the same behavior. I was afraid of that answer. I wanted her to say that he doesn't do any of that.....I wanted there to be some glimmer that maybe I'm overreacting. Instead I've got more reason to believe there's an issue.

I spent a majority of my drive home in tears. I don't want there to be something wrong with my child. I found myself questioning what I could have done. Was it something I did wrong during pregnancy? Could I have done something differently while raising him?

His well child visit is December 8, at which point I'll speak to the pediatrician.

Like sands through the hourglass, so are the days of our lives

Fall is officially here, and Christmas is quickly approaching. This time of year always amazes me because it goes by so fast. Before we know it, we'll be putting out milk and cookies for Santa and then we'll be ringing in 2008.

How is it possible that we're almost in the year 2008? Twenty oh-eight. Wow. 2008; I'll turn 28, and be 10 years out of high school. In 2008 my children will turn 4 and 7. And I'll celebrate my 10 year anniversary with my company.

Everyone warned me that if I thought time went fast before, to just wait until I had kids. Boy they weren't kidding. Since my first was born nearly 6 years ago, time has flashed by.

My first born is in kindergarten, starting his school "career" and my youngest is taking ballet classes, excited to start preschool next fall. I'm amazed at how quickly we went from diaper changes and middle of the night feedings to real underwear and homework. Sometimes I miss the days of wrinkled baby skin and gummy grins, but I more so look forward to what they'll learn and what they will become.

I don't want to rush time by any means, but I look forward to them gaining even more independence, being confident in themselves, finding their niche and doing what they love. We've hit so many monumental firsts, but there are still so many more to come. No matter how old they are, there's always some other first to wait for. First loose tooth (and first visit from the tooth fairy!), first day of school (at least for my daughter), first date, first real friendship drama, first day with their driver's license, first school dance......to eventually marriage and the first child (me, a grandma! -- now that's looking WAAAAAY into the future!!!).

Every day brings something new, every day we get closer to the next day, and before I know it, these kids are going to be all grown up.

Children for Sale .... 2 For 1

That's right! Come and get 'em!

It's one of those days. It all started when the youngest got up to use the potty at 12:35am. I had just been slumbering for a little over an hour at this point, so I was groggy. When she came in an hour later to use the potty again, I was even more groggy and irritated. At this point I realized that I was having an 'attack', or at least showing the signs of one starting. Fantastic! This is how I love to spend time in the middle of the night.

So, I dozed and woke on what seemed to be an hourly basis throughout the night. All the while I had that awful sensation in my gut; that something was not sitting well, that mild 'on fire' feeling, knowing full well that eventually it would land me in the bathroom.

Finally at 6am, it woke me and I spent the next hour in the bathroom, all the while scanning for something to use in the event that I needed to hork. I was not feeling well, and of course the children graced us with their wide-eyed, ready to start the day expressions by 7:10 in the morning. I layed back down in the bed, my stomach rolling and I dozed for a bit until Mike let me know that he was leaving for work and that the kids were at the kitchen table having breakfast. I knew I couldn't just leave them there, so I had to suck it up and supervise.

No sooner were the cereal bowls empty that I led them back up the stairs to find activities to busy themselves with in their rooms. While I found my way back into my bed, under the covers, with my nose buried in a book.

I only had to get up to check on the loud bang, or find out why one was shrieking, or to put a stop the bickering about 307 times, but who's counting?

Finally at noon I headed down stairs to make lunch. Buttered noodles with grated parmesan cheese - I got compliments that it was "the best food ever!", which was nice, but not enough to stop me from wanting to lock them up in the closet, bound and gagged until their father returns home from work.

Don't get me wrong, I love them dearly. But when I'm functioning on minimal sleep, and dealing with a very off stomach -- a little cooperation would go a long way.

Sputterings and Mutterings

It's been quite awhile since I've written. I find that many evenings I'm too tired to conjure up anything worth reading.

I've been the general manager for 4 whole weeks now. Hardly seems like it's been that long, but I've made it through 2 payrolls. This past Friday I had to do the entire payroll myself and I was extremely nervous about it. Apparently I wasn't giving myself enough credit because it all went extremely smoothly and all the payroll checks printed and I have happy employees. The old general manager is out of town in California now, and my bosses are actually out of the country on an anniversary trip in Italy. I'm flying solo with only brief communication by cell phone or text messages to the old GM. She still needs to go over sales tax with me, which needs to be done by the 20th of this month.

Other than that, the other big happenings in the household was the start of two things for the kids. B started kindergarten, and 5 days in I got my first phone call home from the teacher. His friend down the street rides the same bus, and they are in the same class together as well. Apparently they are like Frick and Frack, getting into some trouble together. They've been separated both in class, and on the bus, along with flipping cards to yellow while in class. (sigh) They are FIVE! (though, B would interrupt and say, "I'm five and a HALF!") K started ballet class at our community rec center. She's gone two times now, and is just adorable as she prances along. It runs for 11 weeks, so she'll be busy doing that every Saturday until the middle of November.

So - that is that - just keeping busy and watching the weeks fly by.

Health 101

The procedure on Monday went well. There was nothing visibly wrong. I have 2 weeks worth of Nexium to try. Most of the time I don't have any pain, but occassionally I'll get a twinge or a quick, shooting pain. The doctor felt it was probably stress/IBS related. Could very well be. But, we'll see.

As for another health issue, my rowdy 5 year old boy was goofing around, fell and gashed his head. 3 stitches and a little bit of swelling later, he's fine.

Receiving a phone call at work, all while hearing screaming in the background saying "MY HEAD ......... MY HEAD ....... IT HURTS!!!!!" does not leave one feeling very calm.

So it was another trip to the immediate care facility. I swear, they are going to know us on a first name basis soon.

Whirlwind

Life can sometimes be so overwhelming that it's difficult to get up and start each day.

2007 didn't start off well, and here we are in the 3rd month and it hasn't gotten much better.

Emotionally I've hit a low, and it's doing damage. I'm feeling resentful towards my children, I'm unhappy with my marriage and I'm not finding the enjoyment in the things I used to.

Sadly, I think it may be time to be put back on antidepressants.

While I'm currently not feeling quite as 'low' as I was, I know that doesn't mean I'm better.

Hopefully as the weather improves, my mood will as well. And I hope that there's an answer or a way for Mike and I to work through this tough time. We're planning to go on a 'date' tomorrow night, perhaps it'll remind us of why we fell in love and got married in the first place.

In the meantime.....just know that I'm working through a tough patch, and I hope that soon I'll be feeling 'normal' again.

S . T . R . E . S . S

2007 is not off to a good start, AT ALL.

Braeden has pink eye. In BOTH eyes. I called the answering service this evening, and since I had to be put on hold, I figured it was a busy night. It had been quite a while since I called, with no return call from the pediatrician. In the meantime, B is complaining that he can't see. We decide that Mike will take him over to the urgent care so that we can get him on an antibiotic quickly, without having to try to get him squeezed in at his doctor's office tomorrow. Just as they were getting their coats and shoes on, the pediatrician called back.

Simply said "Yes, no doubt it's conjunctivitis" after I explained the symptoms and asked for the pharmacy number to call in a prescription. BLESS HIS SOUL! We've been having ridiculously cold weather here, and I just hated to have to take him all the way to the doctor's office for them to confirm which I guessed was wrong (as soon as I saw a slug-looking glob of boogery grossness coming out of his eye).

I know, it's not a huge deal. It's treatable, it's common and he's in school. It doesn't surprise me that he's got it.

It's just the timing. How much more can I handle?

We moved our office, and while we're settling in at the new space nicely, there is still alot to be done. I've been working harder, and even putting in some extra time.

Mike is still unemployed. He's had some interviews, he's filled out apps, he's been surfing Monster and Career Builder and the like on a daily basis. No bites so far. It'll be 3 weeks tomorrow since he lost his job. He's hearing from another manager that got fired that he and another manager were denied unemployment (I'm not sure the truth in all this, as in my experience at work, unemployment seems to side with the employee firstly, and the employer has a chance to appeal and fight the claim). It seems a bit early in the game for them to have downright denied them of any benefits.

So, I'm stressing. Trying to keep finding the positives in things, but it's nagging at me all the time. If something happens and the deny him unemployment (so far the paperwork we've received, it looks like he WILL .... but, now I'm paranoid), what on Earth will we do?!? I mean, unemployment is not the same money he was bringing home, but it's SOMETHING, and it's damn near better than NOTHING.

I get sick just thinking about it. I dread coming home or being in the house because it depresses me to think how much it could be hanging on the line. There's tension in the air, frustration, and fear. I'd almost rather be at work, and it just so happens with the move that I can be since there's so much to do.

I haven't had much time to list more things on ebay, but I've managed a few here and there, and have managed to make a bit under $300. It's good, but I've got to find the time and energy to do more and I just don't have it. I don't have the desire to either right now.

This whole week I've probably spent a total of maybe 2 hours on the computer (internet). And that's probably guessing high. I just haven't had the desire to surf the web, chat on my mailing lists or check into my community website. The only thing I have wanted to do is read. Maybe it's my way of escaping. I'm nearly finished with a book I just started, and I'm already eyeing the bookshelf to see what's next.

Other than my excitement to read, I could pretty much just cry.