Tuesday, November 22, 2005

It's beginning to feel alot like Christmas

I wound up doing a bit of Christmas shopping after work today. Got off an hour early, and had to swing by the mall to pick up our Christmas pictures. Since I was right over there, I opted for a chance to shop through Toys R Us without four curious eyeballs peering into the cart.

Found a few things for the kids -- you see, Santa asked me to look for a few items that he didn't have back at the North Pole. LOL I believe I'm finished with the kids. Well -- at least I *say* that now .... we'll see what happens when I set my eyes on something I just have to have for them.

Honestly, I'm proud of myself. I didn't go overboard this year like I have in the past. Last year they got a TON of stuff. This year, I didn't buy that much (though I'm sure some people would disagree and think they are getting MORE than enough). I figure I'll just get my butt in the playroom after Christmas and weed out toys that aren't played with, are broken, or perhaps too "babyish" now. Maybe I'll even have Braeden help me - and ask him which toys he doesn't like anymore, and see if he'll give any away on his own.

I'm still not near being finished Christmas shopping entirely. Well, I suppose I have a much better start than those that are planning Day 1 of shopping to take place on Black Friday. There are still several gifts I need to buy - and unfortunately that will mean battling the stores, the enormous crowds and long lines during the holiday rush. But, what's the holiday season without having to stand in at least one line, or listening to one woman rant that she didn't get her hands on the last Dora Knows your Name doll.

Saturday, November 19, 2005

I'm really beginning to hate weekends

You would think that after working 5 straight days, I'd enjoy having the weekend off. And - while I do enjoy not having to get up and go in to work, and I can enjoy my children and my home -- at the same time - I HATE weekends.

With the business Mike is in, he works all weekend. Gone most of Saturday and Sunday. His hours this weekend are both 9am-7pm on Sat and Sun. He got home at 8pm last night. Okay - so it's better than midnight - but it's still AFTER we've already eaten dinner as a family, and it's too late to go and do anything. It sucks. Even if he was to open the store - he doesn't get off til 4. At least then we have dinner as a family, but doesn't leave much time for family activities. He has to work Thanksgiving, too. 7am-close. They close at 3pm. General closing takes about an hour. Meaning 4pm he'll actually get out of there. The commute to my brother and SIL's house .... probably a good 40 minutes. So - it'll be nearly 5pm by the time he joins the festivities. I think we're eating at 2. So he doesn't even get a hot, fresh Thanksgiving meal. And we don't get to eat with him. :sigh:

So anyway - here is Saturday. We have pictures tonight at 5:30. The kids and the twins having Christmas pictures taken together. I figured I'd spend the day in to try to get the kids to rest and relax so that they could be in good spirits later. My mom and dad take off - to go do their own thing. Which okay .... understandable. They deal with the grandkids all week long. But, I'm feeling abandoned. And I have Christmas shopping to do and can't do a bit of it because I have the kids. I can't necessarily shop when I have them with me, curious eyeballs peering into the cart.

Which brings to me to another thing -- I don't have a single thing for Braeden for Christmas. I went through everything I've bought so far for everyone, and made a list. Both kids are getting more winter clothes, and loads of summer clothes. I have quite a few things for Kaelynn, including the things the 'big jolly man' will bring her. Several toys. The only thing NON-clothing we have for Braeden is a couple packages of Hotwheels/Matchbox cars, some Spiderman notebooks to doodle in, and a Spiderman & Friends action hero. How on Earth can I only have that?? Normally by this time I'm finished with my kids.

I guess it's because I refused to buy things - knowing that they already have a TON of toys and they will probably get more from family. But I can't just give him clothes. There are things I put on his Christmas wishlist that I could buy. But, I wanted plenty of options for family. :sigh: I guess I'll start browsing on amazon or something to get some ideas. There is a Batman batcave play set I've seen. Maybe I can snag that at a good deal. He'd LOVE that.

Now if only I could get to the stores so I could do some power shopping, I'd be all set. At this rate, I'll never get my Christmas shopping done.

Friday, November 18, 2005

Christmas Pictures

I just have to share these BEST pictures of my kids! Yes, I know I am their mother, but I swear, they are the CUTEST kids ever! LOL

Seriously.....are they cute or what?????

Wednesday, November 16, 2005

7 Years

Today is my 7th anniversary at work. Hard to believe it's been SEVEN years. Somedays it doesn't feel like it's been that long. And other days I feel like I've worked there for 30 years. LOL

I started there when I was 18. It's crazy when I think back to all I've accomplished since I started there.

Marriage, 2 houses, 2 kids, 3 cars ..... wow.

Tuesday, November 15, 2005

I ask for continued prayers for Liam ....

You all may remember me asking for prayers for an online friend's son, Liam.

They are currently at St. Jude's Children's Research Hospital for testing, etc. Unfortunately, Liam's blasts went from 0-8% in a matter of 4 weeks.

They have set up a personal site through the CaringBridge organization, which can be visited here.

I ask you all .... please keep this little boy in your thoughts and prayers.

Monday, November 14, 2005

Those little blue pills

I'm still off them.

We've had insurance since November 1st.

I haven't gotten another refill.

I don't remember exactly when it was that I stopped taking them. I'm thinking it was mid-September.

I still have 6 left in the bottle from my last script.

I don't think I need those pills anymore.

My DH (and the "D" does NOT stand for Dear!)

Right at this moment I could pack up all of Mike's belongings and throw them out the window. He seriously PISSES me off to no end.

I worked all damn day. He was off today. I get home and he hands a screaming Kaelynn to me. Fine, she was crabbing, and I'm sure he was at his wits end with her at the moment.

So we sit down to eat - I finish, and he's still eating. I let him make another sandwich and hold off on putting all the bread/meat/condiments away until he's finished. I put all the stuff away while he stuffs his face. I take away Braeden's plate while he finishes his milk and eats a few more Doritos. I give Kaelynn a chocolate chip cookie for dessert. I start to wipe down the kitchen table. Mike finally finishes and takes his plate to the sink.

Braeden comes over to have his hands and face washed at the sink. I clean him up. Mike goes to sit on his ASS while doing something on that God forsaken laptop. Kaelynn finishes her cookie and coughs/chokes in the process. I make sure she's okay and pat her back. She is fine. Mike just looks over. I remove the tray from the highchair, sit it to the side and get her cleaned up. Put her down on the floor, and go to clean off the tray. The kids run around and run around. I tell them to please get out of the kitchen and to stop running. Mike sits and continues to do his thing.

I take Kaelynn upstairs and get her diaper changed and into pajamas. I go into the laundry room and get all the clean clothes and put away Kaelynn's, Braeden's and my own. Realizing when I get into our bedroom - that the bed is still UNMADE and Mike's few clean clothing items from yesterday's load are STILL sitting in the same spot. This morning I had THREE things I asked him to do. 1) Call the bank and find out about the new name/routing number and try to get it straighted out since I had JUST ordered new checks before we received notice of the change from the bank 2) Make the bed and 3) Put away the clean clothes from yesterday

He did ONE of the three things. And let me ask -- were those 3 things ALOT to ask of a man who had to do NOTHING today?????

AND - then -- he did NOTHING to help get the kids "settled". Kaelynn is in bed (crabby girl tonight!) and for the moment Braeden is playing on the other computer. But I can guarantee it'll be ME getting him ready for bed unless the asshole can manage to pull himself out of selfish land for 10 minutes.

And the thing that gets me - On weekends, when I'm off, and I'm home all day -- all these things would be done PLUS some. And I would still be the one primarily getting the kids ready for bed.

ONE night a week does he do everything on his own. And that's when I'm out grocery shopping. He bathes and gets the kids ready for bed by himself. Fine and dandy -- but who does all that the other nights during the week???

It's like he doesn't feel as if he should lift a goddamn finger to do anything around here. And it's like pulling teeth trying to get him to clean. He does our bathroom and THAT'S IT. And that's only when he's around (not working) to do it.

I'm TIRED OF IT. And talking to him does no good. I've tried it a million times. "Honey, it would really be helpful if you could please help out. Then maybe I won't be so tired and we can have more time together."

I hate having to ask - it should just be done. And when I have a simple THREE item list that would take a total of MAYBE 30 minutes (and really, that all depended on how long the bank situation took - otherwise making the bed and putting the laundry away (seriously, 2 shirts and a pair of socks) would have taken - um, 4 minutes or so?) - is it really that much to ask?????

Sunday, November 06, 2005


Yesterday my parents came home with some of my Grams' belongings. They brought home a tshirt she had made over 10 years ago to support my brother during his racing season. She'd wear it to the racetrack and shout "Go, John, GO!" while he raced. So the shirt read Go John Go on the front. Mom brought it home to give to my brother to keep.

I was looking at the shirt ..... and I inhaled. I gasped and put the shirt down. My mom noticed - and asked me what was wrong. I barely managed to say that it smelled like my Grams before the tears came.

Her scent was there. She's been gone over a month, yet her scent remains. It was almost too much to take in right then and there.

My mom and dad also got a mysterious piece of mail yesterday. Information on Disney. No one sent away for it. We have only been talking about taking a big family vacation there in a year or two in my Grams' memory since she loved traveling - especially with family.

We know Grams is pushing us to take that trip - she WANTS us to enjoy the things she did when she was here. And most importantly - she wants us to enjoy those things with our loved ones like she once did.