Cubs vs Sox

We've got a bit of a rivalry going in our household.

I'm a diehard Cubs fan, while the hubby is a Sox fan.

The kids have decided to keep their loyalties with the Cubs, so hubby is a bit outnumbered.

We were at the Cubs game this past Wednesday, and suddenly my daughter taps me and asks:

"Mommy, when you got married .... did you know that Daddy was a Sox fan?"

When I replied 'yes', she was astonished and said "Then why did you marry him?!"

According to her, I should have picked a Cubs fan.

I tried to explain that had I not picked her father, she wouldn't be here (but alas, she's 6....how much does she really understand?)

She did make it clear that when she picks a husband someday, he most certainly WILL be a Cubs fan.

The Things Kids Say

My son is 8 and if you have a son of your own, you know that certain bodily functions work rather early on. When this first started happening to my boy, he would wiggle and act uncomfortable. When we'd question what his problem was, he simplified it by stating that his peepee was like a statue.

As if that wasn't funny enough, he has recently found a new way to describe this new "hardship" (pun intended).

Imagine my surprise, however, as we're walking thru Target's parking lot and he announces that his penis is "stale".

Gotta give the kid credit for creative adjectives.

The Things Kids Say

The other evening (coincidentally, on our way to Red Lobster for dinner the other night), we stop for gas and when we pull up we see that there's a police car and the officer is arresting someone.

Now, it's not everyday you get to see someone cuffed and shoved into the back of a squad car.

My daughter pipes up from the back seat in a sing-song voice "Someone's getting arrested"....

There's a pause and next thing I know, she's singing:

"Bad boy, bad boy, whatcha gonna do.....whatcha gonna do when they come for you...."

The Things Kids Say

While out eating at Red Lobster the other night, the waitress was very attentive and great with the kids. She took them over to the lobster tank, scooped one out and let the kids "pet" it. Afterwards, she herded them over to the restrooms so they could go in and wash their hands.

I went in to the ladies to help my daughter, and when we came out, my son was already done and speaking to our waitress and a woman dressed up (I'm assuming she was upper management/owner).

I heard him say "You know...the thing you don't sit on". I'm wondering what on Earth he's even babbling about.

The waitress then explained that he came out and said
"Excuse me, but you might want to know that your bathtub is leaking"

We all had a good laugh and let him know that it's called a urinal.

I spelled it, I didn't say it

My son was full of material tonight.

We took the kids to the movie theater to see Race to Witch Mountain. On the car ride home, my son decides to pipe up;

"Am I big enough for a phone now?"

And I'm like WHAT?!

You are 7!

So I ask, "What kind of phone do you want?" (and I'm thinking he's going to either say a cell phone or you know - his own personal land line in his room)

And he says "A blackberry"

OMG!

And then we get home and the kids are in the bathoom, doing their normal routine and I'm putting some laundry away. I realize that my son is now in a different bathroom, so I ask him what he's doing in there.

And he tells me that he's going pee, and "I can't go in the other one because dad is in there taking an S-H-I-T."

At which point I scold him and he says "What? I spelled it, I didn't say it."

The Things Kids Say

Do any of you have kids that assume you were born yesterday?

For instance, the other night, my kids thought it was acceptable to take the belts from their robes and play with them.

They were in my son's room and when I appeared in the doorway, they stopped in their tracks, hands behind their backs, to which my son looks at me and says...

"What?! We're just two ordinary kids."

I swear, I don't know where he comes up with this stuff.

The Things Kids Say

The other night we're discussing favorite animals, and of course my kids couldn't pick just one. They are both rattling off the names of every animal they could think of.

Giraffe, penguin, lion, monkey, gorilla...

My son says "A gorilla is a monkey..."

To which hubby says "Actually, it's a primate"

And my son asks "It's a Prime Ape?"

I just about fell out of the chair. He honestly thought that's what was said.

So, next time you're at the zoo, stop by the primeape house.

The Things Kids Say

The other day my son picked the hot lunch meal of a hamburger. When he came home from school, he was sporting a very large yellow stain on his pants.

So I asked him about it.

"What happened to your pants?"

"Oh, the mustard .... it like, dropped down."

"How'd you clean it up?"

"Well first, I wiped it, and it got bigger.......and then one of the lunch room ladies came over, and she washed it off for me. And you know what I told the lunch room lady?"

"What?"

"I told her that the school should buy a ShamWow!"

I think he watches too much TV.

Berries, Jewels; what do you call them?

Imagine my surprise the other night when my son walks in to our bedroom and tells me, as he's scratching...

"My nuts itch"

I about fell out of the bed laughing, but had to tell him that he shouldn't really call them nuts. I can just imagine him announcing to his 1st grade teacher that he keeps wiggling in his seat because his nuts itch.


PS - Don't forget to enter my Sexy Sweethearts Giveaway!

Let's not count our chickens

During Monday night's Cubs game against Milwaukee, my son was starting to celebrate a little prematurely.

It was my time to gently tell him a golden rule to being a Cubs fan.

We never count our chickens before they hatch.

A few minutes later, he was bouncing around and talking of winning again.

I just said "What did I tell you about our chickens?"

He says "Mine already hatched!"

The Cubs did win, but there's still alot I need to teach this boy about bleeding Cubby blue.

The Things Kids Say

My daughter has an issue with the singular and plural of goose.

Imagine my surprise when she delightfully exclaimed:

"Mommy! Look at all the gooks and geeks in the pond!"

The Things Kids Say

Someone or something was irritating me the other day and apparently I was yelling about it in the car.

From the backseat, my son pipes up:

"Don't blow your socks off, Mom!"

The Things Kids Say

The other day we had some errands to run, and I was anxious to get us all of out of the house at a decent time in the morning.

Mike disappeared and I asked my daughter where Daddy was. She told me he was downstairs playing Wii. Well, that is totally unacceptable when we've got things to do, and he's not even dressed! I told her to go downstairs and tell him to "get the show on the road". She does, and she comes back upstairs by herself.

I ask where he's at. She tells me still downstairs.

So I say "Go back down there and tell him that mommy said she's going to kick his ass"

She looks at me and says:

"I can't. Then he'll be pissed off!"

The Things Kids Say

While playing outside the other day, my daughter asked me to put on her "lily pads".

There she was, handing me her elbow & knee pads so she could ride her scooter.

Yeah...I don't know where that came from, but it's darn cute!

The Things Kids Say

My daughter dashes over to me and exclaims:

"MOM! There's two robbers in the backyard!"

"Robbers!?", I asked.

"Yeah, you know .... red robbers."

Took me a minute -- but we're not dealing with bandits wearing red. Instead, we're talking about Robins - as in the bird - with red breasts.

The Things Kids Say

The other evening I walked into my son's room to start getting the bedtime routine rolling. He was right in the middle of playing his Disney Cars racing game, and apparently he really wanted to win, but was trailing behind the other racers.

While I'm getting his bed turned down, I hear:

"This game sucks!"

Excuse me?

Sometimes I wonder if he's 6, or if I missed a decade and he's 16.

The Things Kids Say

A recent phone conversation while I was at work and my mom called to let me know something.

First, my son got on to tell me that he got a Pawsome card at school. Not to be left out, my daughter says she wants to tell me something, too!

She gets on the phone....

"Mom....umm...you know triangles? .... They is shapes."

The Things Kids Say

Happy 1st Day of Spring! It's sunny out and you'd think spring was just around the corner, however, we've got a winter storm watch this evening and tomorrow. Supposedly somewhere between 4-7 inches is coming our way.

At any rate, creatures are starting to stir and my mom noticed a few robins.

Grandma: I just saw three robins!

My daughter: I wanna see, was they in capes?

Apparently my daughter has spent too much time with her super hero loving brother because robin to her is Batman's cape-wearing sidekick!

The Things Kids Say

The other day my son had to bring some work home for his friend that lives down the street, who has been out sick.

When we talked about it at the dinner table, I found out it was quite a lot of stuff that he had to tote home.

My mom made a comment that it really weighed down his backpack.

What does my son say?

"Yeah. It was like an anchor!"

The Things Kids Say

So, in my household, there are nights that the kids go to bed easily. The kind where, once they are tucked in and their bedroom doors are closed, they are down for the count. Other nights we aren't as lucky and there are extra bathroom trips, things they forgot to tell us, that they need lotion on chapped cheeks, or that Han Solo just came hurtling through the window in the Millennium Falcon (yes, my son is HUGE into Star Wars right now).

Tonight was one of said nights.

Both kids were up a few times, and I did extra tucking. On one tucking with my son, he asks for a drink of water. I bring him a small dixie cup. He drinks it and is content. A bit later, my daughter is up and out of her room again. Get her settled and notice my boy is asleep.

I go in to kiss him and whisper in his ear that I love him sooooo much and he stirs a bit and sleepily, in a hushed voice says:

"Mommy, you know I like big drinks; not those little ones. Will you get me a big drink?"

I oblige and get him his big drink and come back into his room, to find him nodding off again....

"Honey, here's your drink" to which he springs up, drinks it down and says:

"AHHHHHHHHHH......that's what I'm talkin' about!"