At War With the In-Laws

I've about had it with some of Mike's family members, and I think he has, too.

I've posted before about RSVPing and the fact that so many people are ignorant and do not response. WTF do they think I put a RSVP date and phone number for?? Shits & giggles? Please.

So this year I had enough. B is going to be 4 years old. This has been on ongoing issue since his 1st birthday. So, I sent an email to those who hadn't responded. My FIL took it the wrong way - because I'm an idiot and thought I put an RSVP date of 12/3 down, when in fact, I wrote 12/5. So when I emailed on 12/4, I jumped the gun a bit. REGARDLESS - I send a 2nd email apologizing, but asked if everyone could still respond yes or no and that we hoped we'd see them on Saturday.

And so - Mike gets a phone call from his Aunt S. on Monday. She basically rips into him on the phone. After he hangs up, we talk a bit about "the email I sent" and I get more and more pissed off. End up getting home to find out that Aunt S. emailed our family group email (a private yahoogroup for both his & my family to keep in touch with us and see photos of the kids, etc). And the email was NOT pretty. I mean - she was a B. I. T. C. H. She basically blamed me for everything - even going back to our wedding in 2000 and people we did not invite! You know what - F-U-C-K Y-O-U ... it was our wedding, and we chose the guest list. End of story. Get over it. She made all these "claims" that had no grounds. But everything she said, was MY fault. That Mike doesn't call or visit his family -- yep, my fault.

But, of course. Afterall, I do shackle him to the bed each morning as I leave for work. And I break the bones in his fingers everytime he tries to dial the phone to call one them. And, the time he tried to get in the car to go visit them -- oh yes, I set his car on fire. I do whatever it takes to keep him from his family.

GIVE ME A F-ING BREAK!

They simply cannot handle the fact that maybe - just MAYBE - HE DOESN'T WANT TO SEE OR CALL THEM, OR GO TO THEIR STUPID PIG ROAST. No, no. Of course he wants to -- it must be his bitch of a wife that keeps him from doing these things!! Yes, of course!

I'm done. I do not care to speak with or see that particular family member ever again.

I spoke with FIL for a good hour last night about all of this. I got to explain myself and he filled me in on some things. Says that Mike gives them all the impression that *I* am the one keeping him from these things. When I asked Mike about that - he acted as if he didn't know what I was talking about. And I said to his dad - I don't want to be his excuse - but maybe he uses me as one because he can, and because it looks better to blame someone else instead of having himself look like the asshole.

And then I find out - because Aunt S. mentioned something in her email about us not even being able to change our Thanksgiving plans to spend it with R. (Mike's grandfather, he's ill, dying of cancer). I didn't have any clue about Thanksgiving - as I was NOT invited and nothing was mentioned to me. I found out from Mike - that Aunt S. called him for his dad's phone number because she invited him to Thanksgiving and then says something along the lines of "I was going to invite you, but figured you wouldn't come anyway" -- WTF?? How 'bout this? Take your Thanksgiving turkey and stuff it!

I wrote back to Aunt S. - not because I want to work things out - but because she accused me of everything in the book - and I needed to defend myself. So I did that, and got a few jabs of my own in there. She hasn't written back.

It's all about her and that side of the family. Everyone should cater to them. We should go there for this and that, and we should call - but do they? Absolutely not. It's up to US.

And this is a family that rarely called Mike while he lived in Florida. I met him soon after he moved back here in IL. No one tried to contact him in the few months he was living here. After we started dating, he contacted the family and it went from there. So it was okay for them not to call, write, visit - nothing - during all that time.

It's sad, really. It truly is a dysfunctional family. I look at mine and realize how lucky I am to have such caring family. No matter what - they are always there. They don't get pissed off and petty because they had to be the one to make the phone call 9 out of 10 times, or that you can't make it to their weekend BBQ, or that you didn't invite so-and-so to your wedding. It's called being an ADULT. And Mike's family has proven that they are still growing up.