On my mind

Mike's mom had called him last week to see if we'd be spending Christmas day at his Aunt S.'s house or his grandfathers (depending on where the festivities would be hosted). We are now just 5 days away, and no one has let us know the definite plans or given us an official invitation.

Quite honestly - this is where the problem comes in. I don't want to go.

I have no interest in joining in their festivities. Since Aunt S. has made it so very clear that I have never been welcomed into their family, I really don't feel comfortable in spending time with them for the holidays.

But, my issue is this - if we don't go, once again, *I* will be blamed. While it will boil down to MY decision -- how can they really honestly expect me to WANT to go after all that was said?

If the tables were turned, and I had sent an email like that to one of Mike's family members, all hell would have broken loose, and you better believe, they wouldn't have anything to do with any of our festivities. It's the same with Braeden's birthday party -- Aunt S. was not coming, simply because she was pissed off.

I've told Mike that this year I'd rather start a new tradition. Staying home on Christmas day. I'm tired of running around after the kids finish opening their gifts - taking them away from all the new toys and goodies they get. He hasn't given me a definite answer, but it does seem he's not that interested in visiting with his family (on his mom's side).

We did already get together this past weekend with his brother, his fiance and their daughters and exchanged gifts. And we'll find time to get together with his dad, stepmom and sister.

I'm just sick to my stomach about all of this. I have been since it all happened. I'm tired of feeling like this when I did nothing wrong! And I can't believe someone would have the audacity to say the things said! Honestly - WHAT was the point in saying such nasty things? I am his WIFE ... not just a girlfriend that will probably be old news in a week. I've been with this man for nearly 7 years, married for a little over 5. I'm not going anywhere.