Who am I? Where am I? What am I doing?

I posted nearly a month ago that I was feeling "lost". Sadly, I'm still feeling that way.

Everyday I don't know if I'm going to have a good day or a bad day, or perhaps a bit of both. I'm struggling with my feelings, and it's hard for me to even post this here. I just feel that if I don't write about it, then I'm not being honest.

There are moments where I am not happy with my life at all.

And - I know, I should just shut my mouth because I have so much to be thankful for. And that there are so many other people out there less fortunate than I am.

I realize that I am blessed with what I have in my life. A beautiful home, two adorable children (that nearly drive me to drink, but God I love them), a husband that loves me, a job to pay the bills, family, friends....

But at the same time I feel as if there is more to life than what I have, things I haven't experienced, hobbies to partake in, people to meet, places to see. A big thing I'm struggling with as well is the fact that I didn't continue with school and that I'm currently not holding a bachelor's degree, a masters or any type of degree. Oh, I did do some college - receiving two certifications in Computer Information Systems. I was proud of what I did accomplish and was content with my job, and happy to move into the next "level" of being a grown-up; getting married and starting a family.

Marriage and children were more important to me than a college degree or a fancy career. And for years I had been happy with that.

Now ...... I'm not so sure.

I guess I'm dwelling on a lot of "what if's" and I can't live my life wondering how things would have turned out if I made different decisions. I chose the path, but I feel as if I'm at a fork in the road, and I need to decide which way I'm going.