My Womb : Closed for Business

Last night after I wrote and shut down my PC for the night, I thought to myself ... maybe that was too brass. I'll sign in tomorrow and delete that entire post.

But a few faithful readers have commented, enjoying my writing style and perhaps having a giggle while reading (so glad I could bring some humor to your life, because I am totally not laughing). Really, though, it was intended to be a light-hearted way for me to express what I'm currently going through.

For the record, I am crossing my fingers, toes and sending up prayers to the Man upstairs that I am not pregnant. Not only would it cause issues within my househould and my childcare situation (mom and dad are not willing to watch another one), but I do not feel I could handle another child emotionally or physically. The two I have are plenty, and can be very much a handful nearly all the time. And my body did not fair well with pregnancy towards the end, and as my blood pressure went up, I was on bedrest until I could be induced (and with my second child, the BP issues happened sooner in the pregnancy than the first time around). I had to take my leave from work earlier, which left me without pay and made things a bit tight financially.

So, no, I am not coming to terms with the idea of having a third child, because I do not want one. Perhaps that is harsh, but it's honest.

Today marks cycle day 28, so AF should be arriving in the next couple days. Last month my cycle was only 27 days long (and it surprised the heck out of me); normal for me is 29-30 days, 31 on occassion.

Every cramp, tingle, cough, ache is questioned and I anxiously look for the pink tinge on the toilet paper every time I wipe.

Thoughts, prayers, and fingers crossed are appreciated!