I don't care who you are, that's funny right there...

Did you hear?

Denny's is offering a new breakfast meal: The Octo-Slam.

You get fourteen eggs, no sausage, and the guy next to you has to pay the bill.

Bullets because that's all my mind can handle right now

• Oberweis Birthday Cake flavored ice cream is heaven (or hell!) on Earth. I finished off a quart in 3 days.
• Getting into my car for the first time after the break-in made me queasy.
• In exactly 5 weeks, I'll be meeting NKOTB.
• I need Boob-A-Thon participants!!! Send 'em in! snarkysarah AT gmail DOT com
• I'm developing a slight addiction to Twitter.
• My new (shorter) hours and (less) pay start next week. *sigh*
  
  
  
  

Suck the Life Right Outta Me

There's no way to sugar coat any of this, so I'll just get right down to the Royal Suckfest that is my life.

I took a pay cut at work yesterday. Well, I'd rather leave it than take it, but that's not a choice. The only bit of saving grace is that I'm not required to still work my normal 40.5 hours a week with less pay. Instead I'll only be working 30 hours. But we're still talking losing 1/4 of my salary.

And yes - I am thanking my lucky stars that I still have a job, but it's still difficult.

Then there's my mother's health. She came down with what we thought was the stomach flu last week. Instead of getting better, she was getting worse. It warranted a trip to the urgent care yesterday morning which found she's got bacterial pneumonia.

But that's not the issue.

The radiologist felt the spot on her lung was too large. They suggested having another x-ray done in 10 days. The doctor she saw, said that with her symptoms and the way her lungs sounded, felt it shouldn't be a need for a worry, that it was just pneumonia and that it would be clear for the next x-ray.

Still. I'm trying not to borrow trouble, but honestly - how can I not?

I was still wrapping my mind around our car troubles and the thought that some disgusting piece of human flesh was touching my stuff. And now I get to deal with rebudgeting and seeing if our family can survive with my new income, all while worrying about what could be hiding out on my mom's lung.

I'm not doing so well.

Excuse me, did you just say our car window was smashed?

This weekend we surprised the kids with a getaway to an indoor waterpark resort. They were thrilled, and we were happy to do something special with them.

It all started fine, but by 2:30 Saturday afternoon, our fun weekend turned ugly.

Hotel security came up to our room to let us know that our car had a window busted out.

Hubby went out with them, they phoned the police and waited for them to arrive. They took photographs and filled out a report (the hoodlums got away with our radar detector, cell phone charger, outlet adapter thingy (nice technical name, huh?) and the charger for the GPS). I'm assuming it was the windshield mount that tipped off the crooks into thinking they'd hit the jackpot with our car (did I mention we haven't even made our first car payment on it yet?). They rifled through our glove box and just tossed everything onto the passenger seat.

I have never felt so violated in my life. And it just sickens me to think that someone was going through my stuff. And it pisses me off that these nogoodmotherfuckers care less about damaging people's property to try to make a quick buck. I hope the pawn shops in the area didn't give them anymore than $5 for the goods. Bastards.

While it could have been worse, I'm still irritated, angry, upset and distraught over the whole ordeal. There were no glass places open to come repair it - despite ads in the yellow pages offering "Same Day Emergency Service" - and did I mention that it was SNOWING? Yeah.

Wide open space where a window used to be + Snow = One Big Snowy Mess INSIDE Car.

We didn't know what else to do. We were supposed to be staying another night, but how could we leave our car in the parking lot - while it was snowing - with no window? Hubby finally called our dealership, and while the service department was already closed, they made some calls and the service manager called back from home to say that they could get it fixed first thing Monday, and that if we could get it there by 5:30-6:00, they'd be able to get us a loaner as well (no charge).

So he drives 50 miles to go take the car in - and then 50 miles back to the hotel where me and the kids had been for the last FOUR HOURS, where he finally goes to the front desk and says "Our day has been shot, I've spent the last 4 hours dealing with this car thing and my wife has just had enough". They will be sending us a voucher for a night's stay (not really much out of their pocket - we stayed with a "Pay for One Night, Get a Night Free" deal - and left a night early). We arrived home just after 8:30pm and I couldn't have been happier. I had my own bed, my cat, and a feeling of security after an emotional day.

You don't realize how much something like this can effect you. I was emotional and there were tears. Not only tears of frustration and anger, but of disappointment that we had to wrap up our weekend early. I just couldn't stay another night, and it would have been silly at that point anyway....I was emotional and would have had no desire to go back down to the pool.

And to the sorry excuse of human life: I don't doubt that this will catch up to you and that you will be caught one day. And I hope you end up with the biggest, thickest, toughest man in prison that has a serious cheek fetish. Don't drop the soap, dumbfuck.

The Things Kids Say

Do any of you have kids that assume you were born yesterday?

For instance, the other night, my kids thought it was acceptable to take the belts from their robes and play with them.

They were in my son's room and when I appeared in the doorway, they stopped in their tracks, hands behind their backs, to which my son looks at me and says...

"What?! We're just two ordinary kids."

I swear, I don't know where he comes up with this stuff.

Boob-A-Thon 2009

As I posted recently, I am trying to decide just what organization(s) I will be donating to this year.

I have made the decision that the first organization will be Susan G. Komen for the cure of breast cancer.

I supported this organization last year when my good friend Jules participated in the 3-day walk in Chicago. I kicked it up a notch and decided to do something fun in means of fundraising. I hosted the first ever Snarkalicious Boob-A-Thon, which between direct donations and matching contributions, raised $300.

This year, I have decided that I will be supporting Susan G. Komen again, this time in honor of Betty Wood.

Some of you are probably wondering just who this woman is, and it's not someone I know personally (though I would have liked to, however, I did meet her at a NKOTB Parents autograph signing at the mall way back in the day). She is the mother of NKOTB member, Danny Wood.

It's no secret that I am addicted and love all things New Kids. Now I can take that love and do good with it.

With that said, I will also need your help. Please consider participating in the 2009 Snarkalicious Boob-A-Thon. Send a photo of your "girls" (tasteful, please!) and for every unique set, I will donate $2. Guys can participate, too (did you that men can also get breast cancer?).


(feel free to take the above imagine and link on your site)

I will post the photos weekly (I can link you, or you can submit anonymously) and keep a running tab of money raised.

If you don't feel like you can participate by showing your boobs (again, tasteful - cleavage is okay, nipples not so much), please consider making a direct donation. You can also help by donating prizes to be awarded to Boob-A-Thon participants (contact me if you'd like to help).

The stipulations are:
1) Submission must be tasteful
2) Submission must be your own (please don't send me photos of your neighbor's rack - I don't want any nasty grams in my inbox)
3) Only one submission per person (if you are undecided and want to send a couple photos, that is fine, but I will select which to post, and it will only be counted as 1 monetary amount)
4) While I am hoping that I will get more submissions than I can keep up with, please understand that I am not a millionaire (plus, I have a NKOTB habit to support!) and will need to cap off the donations at the amount that best suits myself and my family

How to participate:
Email me at snarkysarah AT gmail DOT com
Include your name (or blog name) and if you would like to be linked or not

Keep yourself healthy, check your "girls" and Remember Betty...

BlogHer '09; Who's Going?

It's been official for quite awhile that I'd be attending, but I haven't talked much about it. Not for lack of wanting to, it's just that there are a million other things happening prior to July.

At this point, my toes are still so frozen from sub-zero temps and what seemed like 20 feet of snow (thank heavens it all melted, and even the very light accumulation we got after that is nearly all gone as well), that I can't even imagine summer at this point.

I feel like Bill Murray in Groundhog Day in the sense that every morning I wake up to an Arctic tundra. I feel like summer will never come.

And since just a few short weeks after BlogHer, summer will be coming to an end and the kids will be back to school (that part isn't necessarily a bad thing), I don't want to rush things either.

All that said, however, I am looking forward to going. BFF and I will be going & rooming together. I can only imagine what tales we'll have to tell after.

So - tell me - are you going? I'd love to meet you!

The Things Kids Say

The other night we're discussing favorite animals, and of course my kids couldn't pick just one. They are both rattling off the names of every animal they could think of.

Giraffe, penguin, lion, monkey, gorilla...

My son says "A gorilla is a monkey..."

To which hubby says "Actually, it's a primate"

And my son asks "It's a Prime Ape?"

I just about fell out of the chair. He honestly thought that's what was said.

So, next time you're at the zoo, stop by the primeape house.