Putting Life Into Perspective

On Monday I received a letter from my insurance company. They denied my appeal to have the rider exclusion removed.

I'm trying not to get worked up over this. Christmas is a week away and this is not the time for me to get depressed and want to off myself. I'll just wait until the new year for all that.

In the meantime, I'm trying to hold onto my sanity, all the while still doing the normal daily routine. Thankfully, the pain pills have helped me enough to make it bearable, so that I don't feel like driving off a cliff to take the pain away.

I'm still working, still parenting, still trying to keep things as normal at home as possible. Even when it took me over 2 hours to get home from work last night due to the snow, I tried not to let it get to me.

This morning I arrive at work, and start busying myself with the day's tasks. A customer had left a message, questioning her order and asking for someone to call her back. So I call, and realize that she didn't get some of her order because her cooler that she had outside was not large enough to fit it all.

So I explain and she goes off. She's ranting and raving, and venting about needing the items because her kids are coming home from college. And then it spills out. Her husband has terminal brain cancer. Her voice is cracking, and she's still spewing, and I'm trying to rectify this (she was going to cancel her service), and then she starts to cry. She apologizes for yelling and taking it out on me. She says she's so sorry, she's got so much going on in her life, working and caring for her husband and taking him back and forth to chemo. She is on the verge of sobbing; telling me that he'll be gone in a few months, and she's trying to do all this, knowing it's his last holiday.

I fixed the situation for her, she apologized and I pray that family enjoys their time together, because I can't even imagine celebrating when something so dark looms in your near future.

When I hung up the phone, I couldn't stop the tears. I still can't get her voice out of my head....