Monday, February 22, 2010

Time Flies & My Body Still Aches

We're just a little over a week away from my appointment with the rheumatologist. It seems like the more anxious and stressed I get as the appointment nears closer, the faster the time seems to go.

As much as I want to know what's wrong, and how to feel better, I'm afraid. I've been blissfully able to continue on, ignoring what might be going on inside me. Granted, my thumb still hurts. Not as bad as it first did, but the pain is still there. And some days are better than others.

I've now also noticed pain in other joints, on my other hand. The stiffness has always been there, but now there's also pain. And I've also noticed that the pain worsens if my hands are cold. And many times they are so cold that the skin is blue underneath my fingernail.

There's also some pain in my feet, and obviously the back pain that plagues me to varying degrees on a daily basis. The other night I hurt everywhere. I was in tears. Desperate, I took a tramadol I still have hoarded away from a previous prescription.

And then there's my stomach issues. The dreaded "attacks" that most often wake me from a dead sleep in the middle of the night. The ugly, gnawing feeling in my gut that lands me in the bathroom for a good hour. Gnawing pain, cramping, which starts first as constipation and then with a few wiggles and rumbles of the intestines, things start moving thru easily, but not painlessly.

For me, this is the equivalent of some medieval torture method. I'm often rocking on the toilet, praying that God will just make. it. stop. SOON. Is it IBS? I don't know. Something more serious? Who knows. I do know that it will require a visit to the gastro doc and right now I'm not sure I can muster up enough courage to add in another specialist.

How is it possible that there can be so many things going on inside just one person's body?


Southern Sage said...

well dang girl I hope they get you all fixed up!

Melissa said...

Looks like we both talked about poop on our blogs...we need to get out and have some least it will make for better blogging material! :)