Man, are my ropers tired!

I previously told you all about the drivers I deal with at work, and the practical jokes that one in particular likes to play. This is the same driver that hosed Mr. Sound Effects.

Well, I sometimes suffer bouts of snarkolepsy at work, towards certain individuals.

One afternoon, our jokester driver comes in to take his truck in for some service. While he's here, I notice he's got his pant leg hiked up and is lacing his boot. My eyes are drawn to the pasty white, scrawny, skinny old man leg that is now bare.

So I speak my observation that he's totally got old man legs. (Note: we are a pretty relaxed company and verbal abuse is pretty common fair around here and we all know that we mean no ill harm. Mostly. And it helps that I'm the youngest in the company and like to dish the shit out. My time will come, this I know.)

Then for whatever random reason, I think of Three's Company, and decide that from that point forward, that driver would be known as Mr. Roper (between the scrawny old man legs, and his crotchetyness, it's a good fit!).

I will not speak of what he had to say to me right then, but he has surprisingly come around and since embraced his Mr. Roper-ness.

Since we can't let him live down the hosing incident, I constructed a simple sign to display in back as a reminder:


(please forgive the quality - I had to use my cell phone)

Totally Random

The hose-happy driver here likes to leave random bits of information, quotes or nonsense on his paperwork for us.

We just laugh because it's always totally random and I think he may have lost his mind.

The other day we got a real gem. Written on the back of his paperwork was this:

Feeling slightly irregular, then I realized I was wearing the wrong days underwear. I had Weds on instead of Tues, yet this still doesn't explain why I feel as if I'm retaining water. hmmmm

At the bottom of the page, this was written:

P.T.I.Y.B

Which after much guessing and clues from him, means:
Put This In Your Blog

Don't Make Me Hose You!

I told you all before about the guy with the sound effects (and from here on out, he will be called Mr. Sound Effects). Let’s just say that he may have been a few sandwiches short of a picnic.

Long story short; he made a ridiculous comment after he had already done several things that would make you shake your head in disbelief. So the other driver that witnessed and fell victim to all of that nonsense ….. well, he hosed him.

Yes, Mr. Sound Effects was hosed down.

At that point Mr. Sound Effects calls the other driver (at home at the time) and exclaims (insert nasal-y I-might-be-a-little-light-in-the-loafers voice)

“He hoooooooossssed me!”

(And yes, it was all drawn out and dramatic like that)

As a professional, I was not impressed with this behavior. Hosing off a fellow coworker is not acceptable, no matter how stupid and annoying the person may be acting. (Seriously, do you know how often I'd have to hose off my employees? Kidding. Maybe.)

As the person who loves to laugh and truly enjoys the lighter side of things – this little nugget of information was hysterical. A grown man hosing another grown man because they can’t get along - that is priceless! (What I wouldn't have paid to see that! I mean *ahem* no, no that is completely unprofessional!)

After we got past the scalding involved when an employee decides to open fire with a water hose, we found the true hilarity in the situation and it has become a running joke around the office.

That driver (and give me time, I will properly name each of them for future references) will never, ever live that incident down.

Boob-A-Thon (Round 5)

More boobs as promised!

These all come from the same group - thanks to my boss, Gail (she has yet to send a photo of HERS! And yes, it does freak me out a bit that my boss reads here, what with the Dooce and Kristabella firing and all)

But all that aside right now, because I know what you came here for.

Char:


Stephanie, Jennifer, and Lori:


And YOU can still SHOW YOUR BOOBS and SUPPORT!

The Boob-A-Thon graphic in the right sidebar will show an up to date total, but remember that Rob will be MATCHING that amount with his own donation as well!! How awesome is that?!

Also, stay tuned as I will be announcing some prizes soon for the Boob-A-Thon raffle drawing!

Where's Mr. Trump when you need him?

I signed in here thinking of all the things I could say, and then spent the last 5 minutes gazing at the screen, my mind blank.

My mystery fever seems to be gone, but my lips are so dry and I still sometimes feel flushed that I think I'm feverish. Other than that, I can't say there is anything ailing me. A little tickle in my throat, causing a cough; that's about it.

The boy woke up last night to use the potty and was soaked. His hair was wet and matted, his pajamas were damp as well as his bedding. He stood there and shivered as we changed him into new jammies and explained to him that the fever was probably breaking and that he was getting better. Several hours later, what appeared to be a coughing fit landed him in the bathroom to throw up. I'll be calling home in a few minutes to get the report on his current status.

For now I'm at work - just me, myself and I. Holding down the fort for spring break while my other office employees are soaking up the sun somewhere warm. Thankfully, it is not as busy as normal because it is spring break and many customers are away as well.

However, this morning I still had to do the part of my job I do not like; firing someone. It was the new guy we hired and he's already not working out. Better to know sooner than later in the training process and time was of the essence here in finding another candidate. I'm just not very good at being the 'bad guy', though I didn't find it too difficult.

Maybe that's the PMS talking as it's about that time. Oh the joys of womanhood. Is my snarky showing?

Sound Effects Not Necessary

It's a darn good thing that I'm not being flooded with unique ideas on the perfect April Fool's prank because I have been found.

That's right. Someone at work now knows how to find me on the web. But, I suppose it's all my fault. I told the driver that his witty "buy apples and crush them yourselves" made it to my blog. Furthermore, I found that if you google "jagoff apple juice" my blog appears as search result #1. And apparently my big mouth was - well - just that -- big.

Oh well.

And since I'm already talking about work - once again I found myself reading over piles of resumes, conducting phone interview after phone interview and finally having a selection of candidates come in for a meeting, narrowing it down further and calling them back in for a 2nd time. We have 3 potentials, and again I am hopeful.

The last guy was - interesting. My initial reaction the first time we met him - not so good. He was a "close-talker" and he seriously got up in my space. My bosses liked him, and I figured I was being too flakey. Turns out that he was probably the biggest flake. He actually made noises in the truck when turning corners or going over bumps. Seriously.

I'm not kidding.

The drivers came to me all like - What is wrong with this guy? And I'm like - Whaddya mean?

"Anytime I turned a corner, he'd go "WEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!""

Apparently for him, riding in the truck was the equivalent of a 3-year old getting a pony ride on Grandpa's knee.

So, we're hoping these 3 leave their sound effects at home.

April Fool's Day Came Early

One of the drivers at work can be a little crafty. He likes to pull pranks on us girls in the office.

How you ask?

This past Halloween, we were surprised to find a scary head in the deep freezer when we went to count inventory. At the time, I also had that delicious cinnamon pecan coffeecake in the fridge, and when I went in for a piece, I found myself staring at a big, black rubber spider.

Yeah, pretty cheesey, but we haven't been able to quite come up with something yet to get even (besides emptying all the office garbage cans and leaving all the tied up bags of garbage back in the warehouse for him to throw out).

So, we have a customer who loves her some apple drink. We only carry cider through the fall, and during that time we no longer carry apple juice. Well, once the cider was gone for the season, the apple juice was not being reintroduced on the menu. Time and time again we explained to the customer that it was not being carried that month and that if it was available in future months, it would be listed on that month's menu. Needless to say, we are now almost 2 seasons past the time we actually had an apple drink available. And despite numerous phone calls, notes and messages to this customer, she still tries to order apple juice every week.

This has been continuing and the customer's driver (our prankster) is aware of this customer.

Today we receive this note:

To Whom It May Concern,

My name is (name). I live at (address) in Barrington. For the past several months I have tried to order apple juice from you people and all I get is a big run around. I don't care if you have to buy apples and crush them yourselves ... I want my damn apple juice!!!!!

And another thing, my driver is a big jagoff.

A Very Unhappy Customer,
(name)

The kicker is - my boss believed it. She brought it into my office and is all like - Can you believe this? And I scan over it and immediately smile. Because I know it's a joke. 1) Because it's my driver's handwriting and 2) he is known for the word 'jagoff'

So now it's payback time. April Fool's Day is just around the corner so it's time for revenge. Granted, a few things to keep in mind is that this is a business, so there can be nothing that may interfere with operations. And they work 3rd shift, which means there's no hiding out and scaring the bejeebies out of him by hiding in the truck because I'll be at home at that time. Watching tv. Or surfing the web. Or sleeping.

This is where I need your help! I want to know all your suggestions on the perfect April Fool's gag. Tell me as many as you'd like -- and the best one will win a prize!

The prize? A book from my growing list of books I've read in 2008.

Wishy-Washy

I wish people would just speak their intentions.

Don't tell me one thing, and in the next breath tell me something that contradicts what just came out of your mouth.

I don't have time for games of beat-around-the-bush.

I don't have time for childish antics.

I didn't realize I was managing a daycare center - not of daycare age children, but of grown men that are 10+ years older than me!!!!

Seriously....it's another one of those days that I was wishing I got that flask for Christmas.

Early to Bed, Early to Rise

I am a nightowl. I like to stay up late, after the kids are in bed, and revel in the peace and quiet. Lately, my 'late nights' are a bit earlier, but what can I say? I'm getting older.

So, getting up early - before the sun is even up - is like pulling teeth. I just don't like it. The earlier I get up, the more queasy my stomach feels (does this happen to anyone else? I just don't feel "right" first thing) and the more I'd just rather stay under the covers.

This morning the cars needed to be moved around so that my dad could get out of the garage and get to an appointment. I knew we needed to be up early, and I knew that I should really get myself more into a schedule and try to make sure my ass is at work at 8am sharp like it should be.

I was awake at 6:30, but layed in the bed until 6:40 before I decided I should just get up and go. Left the house at 7, and imagine my surprise when I rolled up to work a bit earlier than 8.

And imagine my surprise even more that I'm actually in a better mood and just feel better in general than I do most days. Like I'm rejuvenated. Or maybe it's just because we're at the back of the hump and approaching the weekend?

At any rate - perhaps I need to make this a habit. Actually setting an alarm (gasp!) and getting up and leaving for work on time (even bigger gasp!).

OH! And - the BESTEST. NEWS. OF. ALL. My weight loss endevour for this year.....I got good news this morning, but you'll have to read about it at my weight loss blog.

Happy Friday ..... NOT!

I woke up this morning to Mike fumbling around and trying not to moan. I could hear that he was holding his breath a lot, which I know for me is a sure fire sign that there is awful pain.

He had been complaining of leg cramps and pain in his foot, which progressed this morning to him not being able to put any weight on his left ankle.

I felt bad that he needed to take himself over to the urgent care, but I had no choice; I had to be to work.

While I'm worrying about his situation and waiting for his call, I get to work and find my nightmare has come true. The new driver that we just hired, and was just set to start, did not show up last night. I've been worrying myself to a great extent about finding a good, reliable driver - I told one of the current drivers yesterday that when I end up hospitalized for ulcers, they better come visit me.

I get a call from Mike, and he's got tendinitis. He's got a doctor's note for work, orders on how to care for it, and a script for 800mg Ibuprofen.

In the meantime, I'm having a hard time focusing on my work, wanting to be home, and worrying about the 8 million Christmas lights that are outside and on the house that all need to come down tomorrow. I just want to crawl in bed and not come out.

Praise

Just four months ago I was nearly scared out of my wits as to how I would be able to handle the new position as general manager.

It was a nerve-wracking time, but I jumped in and I haven't sunk! I've had nearly everything that could be, thrown at me in these first few months.

Yesterday I received my Christmas bonus inside a card. The bonus itself was not a surprise, as I'm the one that does payroll and prints all the checks - but the message inside was nice:

"We are glad you stepped up as the new general manager - it's been going great. Thanks for all of your hard work & loyalty!"

That's the way the cookie crumbles

We - seriously - must have 30 pounds of homemade cookies in this house. It's been a baking frenzy here the past two days.

Of the list of 17 different types of cookies, 13 are done. We may very well end up with near 1,000 cookies.

Yeah, we're nuts. Or maybe this is a form of Christmas Cookie OCD.

I'm absolutely exhausted. We did 2 second interviews today at work and have 3 potential new drivers. Now it's just a matter of taking the next step; running their MVR and making sure they are insurable and sending them out on a 'test run' with a driver to see if this floats their boat.

I'm hopeful, excited, anxious and nervous that one of these guys is going to make the final cut. I can't believe that with all the excess stress at work lately, I have still managed to not bite my nails (going on 9 weeks now), nor become a closet drinker.

And .... can you believe it; Santa comes in a week!

'Tis the Season

I love giving gifts, and this year there are several gifts that I'm anxiously awaiting their opening. You know when you find a gift that is just perfect and you know the recipient is going to love it? There's a few like that this year, and I can't wait.

However, getting presents is pretty darn fun, too.

I had already gotten a gift from the grab bag we did at the cookie exchange (I scored a gift card to Kohl's! Thanks again, Nanci!) and then this morning, I'm working away at my computer when my boss comes in and puts three presents on my desk.

We finished up the morning rush, and then she comes back into my office for me to open them. I ask if there's a particular order, and she slides one towards me.

I open it up and have a laugh. It's a stuffed cow to dust your computer monitor with. I had actually seen these and thought about buying one for in the office.



Then she slides the next one to me. I open that, and inside is a clear blue pencil case with penguins all over, complete with matching mechanic pencil, eraser and pen inside. (Score! I'm always "losing" my pens around the office - this will be easy to spot just which are mine)

And then there's the last box. She tells me that she's got the receipt at home, in case I've got it already, but that she hopes I don't because she thinks it just came out and I might not have seen them yet.

My eyes probably lit up at this point, and I say "Is it a Webkinz?!?" (Yeah, seriously ... I'm the general manager running this business and I'm asking her if it's a toy in the box!)

She says yes and by the point I'm ripping the paper off as fast as I can, lifting the lid on the box, pushing the tissue paper aside - and there it is!



I had just seen these on ebay, and was super excited to see they made a penguin! Being the penguin-fanatic that I am, I just had to have it. You see, I've already got all the penguin beanie babies that have been made, and I've got some other super cute penguin stuffed animals. As I wrote before, I do already have a black cat Webkinz, so this was a must!

I love it! Simple gifts that are nothing special to some, but totally special for me because it means she's looking for things she knows I will enjoy. And then, for me to be so excited over it, I'm sure it made her feel really good, too.

Got Driver?

The time has come that I dreaded the most when I took over the general manager position 4 months ago.......hiring a new driver.

I had just gotten some hiring experience when we were looking for someone new for the part-time office position.

So the time has come, and of course, I was nervous.

(Total sidenote: I've joked with my boss that I needed to keep a flask in my desk at work to get through the 'moments' that come along with the job. She tells me today that she was actually thinking about buying me one for Christmas! LOL I just had to laugh at her....I am totally not a drinker -- it's socially, and not in excess -- and I certainly would never be tossing one back at my desk -- but man would it have been a riot to open up a monogrammed flask)

Of course then I had the new face that I was growing on my cheek and had that to worry about.

Well, you tend to forget that your second head is actually conducting the interview when your interview-ee has leftovers all over his shirt. Have people forgotten that looking nice at an interview is a good thing? (This reminds me of another peeve: Wearing blue jeans to a wake/funeral)

So, a word to the wise - even if it is for a 3rd shift delivery driver position - looking your best really still does have an impact on your overall rating. I'm not talking a shirt and tie here -- but any sort of outfit without lunch all over it.

Sputterings and Mutterings

It's been quite awhile since I've written. I find that many evenings I'm too tired to conjure up anything worth reading.

I've been the general manager for 4 whole weeks now. Hardly seems like it's been that long, but I've made it through 2 payrolls. This past Friday I had to do the entire payroll myself and I was extremely nervous about it. Apparently I wasn't giving myself enough credit because it all went extremely smoothly and all the payroll checks printed and I have happy employees. The old general manager is out of town in California now, and my bosses are actually out of the country on an anniversary trip in Italy. I'm flying solo with only brief communication by cell phone or text messages to the old GM. She still needs to go over sales tax with me, which needs to be done by the 20th of this month.

Other than that, the other big happenings in the household was the start of two things for the kids. B started kindergarten, and 5 days in I got my first phone call home from the teacher. His friend down the street rides the same bus, and they are in the same class together as well. Apparently they are like Frick and Frack, getting into some trouble together. They've been separated both in class, and on the bus, along with flipping cards to yellow while in class. (sigh) They are FIVE! (though, B would interrupt and say, "I'm five and a HALF!") K started ballet class at our community rec center. She's gone two times now, and is just adorable as she prances along. It runs for 11 weeks, so she'll be busy doing that every Saturday until the middle of November.

So - that is that - just keeping busy and watching the weeks fly by.

Girls Weekend & First Week as "Boss"

So - the girls weekend was nice. It rained which was a bummer, and dinner wasn't fantastic -- but we were together, and we laughed and had a good time anyway. Sunday I woke up not feeling so hot, so it made for a long 2.5 hour drive home. :( Ugh....I hate that tumbly, queasy tummy feeling.

I survived my first week as the "boss" .... then again, it's not too difficult when it was a 'slow' week, and things had already been done and that I'm still not trained. Next week is going to be a killer --- on top of working the full week, I'll be also training the new part-timer and sticking around after hours to be trained myself. Long days + lots of work + lots of 'teaching' + lots of 'learning' = one very tired lady. So, come a week from today, I'm going to be exhausted and probably ready to hit the remainder of the 6-pack of Smirnoff's raspberry.

Calgon, take me away!

It's time to C~E~L~E~B~R~A~T~E!

The meeting with my boss yesterday left me feeling a little less than excited about this new opportunity.

While the offer wasn't ungenerous by any means, when I broke it all down and figured it out with the additional hours I'd be working, etc .... the end result wouldn't have been that much more.

So, I emailed him yesterday afternoon and nervously awaited his response. It was an awful night .... I was feeling scared, hopeful, nervous and just plain depressed.

This morning I get into the office, and my other boss (the wife) comes in and mentions that he'll be coming in this morning to see me (YIKES!). I was nervous and when he came in and sat down at my desk, I nearly held my breath. When he said he AGREED to it, I almost fell out of my chair!

My salary just went up about 40%.....it's unreal. I'm excited, ready to bounce RIGHT. OUT. OF. MY. CHAIR! It's definitely time to celebrate, and I'm looking forward to the new challenge this job will bring and am hopeful for what this new endevour will mean for my future.

That's just the way it is .... some things WILL change

About a week and half, two weeks ago my coworker mentions that she might be leaving the company. We've been working together for almost 9 years now, so this came as a huge shock. It weighed heavy on my mind, and I was frantic .... worried about how I'd handle whatever may come of my job. Would I take over as the general manager? Could I handle it? Did I even want that responsibility?

That weekend I had a sudden feeling of ease, that I was okay with whatever would happen. I was open to what was to come, and that Monday, I overheard her on the phone mentioning how she spoke to the boss over the weekend.

This immediately raised a red flag, as he travels a lot for business for his other job, and to speak with him over the weekend is pretty much unheard of. I knew something was up, and that afternoon she said "We need to talk."

That's when she let me know that she was going to be starting the new job and trying it out. That the boss was willing for her to test out of the waters before completely leaving the company. She would still be coming in during the evenings as needed, but that she had 2 weeks to make the decision, and that by the time she'd need to go to California for training for the new job, she'd need to decide.

It's all been a whirlwind since then. I sat down with my boss last Thursday, discussing my future fate with the company. I was offered the position of general manager, provided she does leave the company.

In the back of my mind, I've been thinking "Okay, it's mine - but there's still that chance that she's not going to like this new job and everything will go back to the way it is/was." I left work on Friday, with the possibility that that would be the last normal day of working with her.

When I got into the office today, her personal affects and photos were gone from in her office. I am thinking this is much more than likely a definite change of path for both of us.

Speaking with the boss again today, I'll be having another meeting with him tomorrow to discuss my salary. I am hopeful this is going to mean great things for my family and us clearing up our debt and being able to start really saving and getting ready to buy a new car. I'm also very afraid that they will take this to their advantage, and offer me a minimal raise, seeing as how the general manager now makes approximately $15,000-$17,000 more than I do (I do not know this for sure, but I have an idea that I'm in the ballpark). Who's to say they won't think I'd be happy with just 1/2 of that difference and offer me a measly raise of only $8,000 (or worse .... less!). Now, I know ..... an $8,000 a year raise? That might sound pretty considerable to some. And it's not too shabby, BUT ..... I don't make a ton of money from the get go. I always thought I made little money, but I enjoyed my job for the most part, and loved that it was small, family orientated and that I had the flexibility to almost come and go as I pleased (within reason - but I never had a problem getting a day/week off that I needed).

So, my stomach is in knots; afraid of what they'll offer me and afraid that I won't have the balls to say anything about it. I've got a figure rolling around in my head, and I sure hope theirs is right up there with it. It'd be an answered prayer.

The Work Force

We were truly holding out hope that Mike would end up getting the position the he applied and went for - not one - but two interviews for with a dish tv company (I'd rather not give the name). It was for a management position, and it seemed like it would work out nicely for our family, the pay was quite a bit more than he had been making, and it would allow him to break out of the food industry.

Of course, he never heard back, even after he called last week and left a message. I'm so disappointed that such a well known company would be looking to hire someone, tell them that he'd be notified either way and then never call, nor return phone calls. Now, the whole thing was not handled all that well. They were doing the interviewing, etc etc and Mike expected to hear something the week of June 18. When he didn't hear anything by Thursday of that week, he called. A secretary or someone in the office said the guy was on vacation that week, and Mike's application was still on his desk. Said he'd be returning Mike's call midweek the next week. So, the next week (this was last week, then, the week of June 25), Mike waits again and calls on Thursday after he didn't hear anything. Gets the guy's voicemail, so he leaves a message. Still nothing.

We're assuming the worst. They are not interested. In the meantime, while this all went on, Mike was offered another job. Just a tiny bit more than he was making, although a raise would come as soon as he took over as the general manager. It's, of course, for a food place. They say, though, that they always take 1 day off on the weekend, and 1 during the week. 10 hour shifts (which would mean getting off no earlier than 7pm pretty much).

I'm really not too sure how I feel about this. Yes, it's a job. But just how will the quality of life be?

Cubs Win!, but my mood just took a turn to quite shitty

Saw the Cubs play today. With the current losing streak they were on, I was hopeful it wouldn't continue and that I'd be attending a winning game. When they opened the game with base hits and a Grand Slam all in the first inning, I had an idea that it was going to be a great game. We watched as some dark clouds and cooler breezes rolled in off the lake, but the rain held off and the clouds rolled by to bring in sunshine for the rest of the game. The skies opened up as we were on our way back home after seeing the Cubs beat the Braves 10-1.

It was a nice day, but of course, there's something that can bring my mood back down. Reading up on some current events in some friends lives on myspace, and I come across someone that just started a new job - and their salary is listed as $75,000 - $100,000 a year. Yeah, I know you can lie (I've seen kids list $100,000 + and they are barely out of high school, so I'm sure they're full of shit), but the salary listed while at the previous job was almost as high. A college & grad school graduate, so I imagine there may be some hefty student loans to pay off, but with that pay scale -- how long could it take while you're single, renting an apartment and living the high life with nearly no responsibility other than some bills.

I guess I'm bitter. It's hard to be happy about something like that when my husband doesn't even have a salary right now, and likely will never make anywhere near that kind of thing. Not that I expect him to, but how is it that people just "fall" into these things?? Yes, there's the degrees and all that, but trust me when I say that I know good money was being made even prior to having the degrees to back it up.

We're barely making ends meet each month, and only because we're getting unemployment. That doesn't last forever (and it's been nearly 5 months), and I have no idea what we'll do if a job doesn't come our way soon.

I've been really trying not to fret over this, but I'm starting to really worry; really starting to get stressed. How much longer can we make it? Moreso, are we going to be forced to take a job that will take priority over family time?

I think that might be what worries me the most. I can't go back to him being gone weeknights and missing dinner with the family. I can't go back to him working all weekend long, missing out on chances for visits to the zoo, or playing in the backyard, or going over to the rec center pool. I can't do it ..... I enjoy the things we can do as a family, and as much as it has sucked for him to NOT be working the last 4.5 months, it's been wonderful being able to do things together.

Is it possible that he'll find a job, so that we can get by and that we'll still be able to spend time together as a family?