The post in which I'm not sure how to title

I just spent some time reading my blog, and stopped at the posts from this spring when my husband lost his job.

I'm not sure I've truly recovered from that. I realize he was only unemployed a month. He's back in the work force and I should be thankful. I am. I'm thankful and grateful that we both have jobs. And while we need to watch money, we're okay.

However, it just feels like I lost something then that I haven't gotten back. I have no idea what that might be. And most days I don't feel like there's anything 'wrong' with me either.

But I'm afraid there is. Things I once loved? I'm not finding myself doing them anymore.

Blogging? Pretty much out the window.
Photography? I've touched my SLR once in the last several months.

I've been tired, I've been moody and I've put on weight.

So how can one still believe her brain is normal when there are so many signs saying it's not?

I'm a terrible blogger

Here I am again. Popping in to tell you all how much I suck.

Blogging has been the last thing on mind. At the time of my last post, we were getting ready to go vacationing on the East Coast. My last day of work proved to be, quite possibly, the WORST. DAY. OF. MY. LIFE. EVER.

It was a nightmare, and I didn't leave work til nearly midnight on that Friday. By the time I managed to tell my brain to shut the hell up, and fall asleep, it was nearly 2am. And did I mention that were going to be leaving at 4am?

But it all worked out, and the vacation was wonderful. We visited New York City (Times Square, Central Park, 5th Avenue), gambled and spent the night at the Mohegan sun Casino, and went to Cape Cod (Provincetown, Mass, to be exact). We spent time with family, relaxed, laughed, and enjoyed ourselves.

Before we knew it, it was back to reality and time to return to work.

I'm now dealing with what appears to be another infection in the gland under my chin. This is the same thing I dealt with in May, that warranted an immediate trip over to the hospital to have a CT scan done (one of the scariest days of my life). I'm on antibiotics again and see my doctor in 2 weeks.

Other than that, it's almost back-to-school time here. I'll be sending my youngest, my baby, my little girl, off to kindergarten and my son to 2nd grade. I can't believe how quickly they are growing. But I am so proud and can't wait to see what new things they learn in school.

So, yes, it's a cheesey, quick update post. And until I can get my blogging mojo back, my posting probably will continue to be sporadic.

Moose Knuckles & Ice Cream

So it's no surprise that I'm a HUGE NKOTB fan and that I've seen them 4 times since last October. It's also no surprise that I love taking pictures, and what better things to take pictures of then those 5 Bad Brothers from the Beantown Land?

The last concert I went to was at the end of June. I took a whole load of photos, but never did get around to uploading them or viewing them all on the computer. Sure, I reviewed them on the camera itself, but we're taking a 2x2 screen here....

Imagine my suprise when I come across the money shot. So I did what any other blogger/Twitter whore would do .... I twitpic'd it.

And my fellow Blockheads took to that photo like flies to a fresh pile of ... yeah, they REALLY liked it. It was RT'd (retweeted for those of you born yesterday not familiar with Twitter) countless times and the views continued to increase.

Imagine my surprise when I was reviewing my @replies and came across one from JON OF NKOTB!!! While my heart nearly exploded right out of my chest, I attempted to read the HUNDREDS of @replies that were coming in at an alarming rate.

The views on that photo skyrocketed and it's still cruising through cyberspace. It's currently on it's way to almost 20,000 views.

What was this photo you ask? I will simply say MOOSE KNUCKLE.

Fast forward to this week, while I'm driving home from work, having a phone conversation with my BFF. She explains that she was getting caught up on Twitter and had no clue what the heck I was talking about in regards to the Moose Knuckle. She said she thought maybe it was a new flavor ice cream.

And while I'm laughing at her, I tell her, "Yeah, you can find it right next to the Padussy flavor...."

More than halfway

I'm just over halfway done with my 52 Things list.

I'm lacking severely in the number of bottles of water I've consumed as well as how many books I've read for the year. And there's a couple things on the list that I know I likely won't be able to complete (get a new tattoo) and one thing that I think I will take off the list (attend BlogHer conference) and replace with something else (?).

As for right now, summer is just speeding along. We'll be going on vacation next month - traveling to visit family in CT and then day trips to NYC, RI and MA. Very much looking forward to it!!!

Maybe once I return, I'll have found my - still missing - blogging mojo.

And we're officially in the 2nd half of '09

June is over, we've celebrated another 4th of July and the summer is whipping by faster than I'd like.

I know I have been quiet, and that I haven't been stopping by to comment on your blogs either. I apologize. For awhile I just didn't have much to say; my mood was sour and I just felt like I was in a rather dark place. Once things started to turn around, I just didn't know what to say.

Now we're in the heart of summer and we're busy playing outside, going on road trips, indulging in sprinkle coated ice cream cones and hanging out with neighbors for our weekly music in the park event.

The week I was off work was busy toting the boy child to birthday parties, throwing birthday parties for the girl child and other errands and activities. Even though the week was incredibly busy, I loved every minute of it. And that Monday I returned to work, I dreaded more than anything.

It was one time that I thought to myself that I could really stand to never work another day in my life. Thankfully I got through the work week, and we had quite a bit of family time for the 4th of July. I didn't dread work nearly as much today.

One thing is for sure, however, and that would be that the next week off can't come soon enough. We'll be heading to Connecticut next month, and are planning a day trip (possibly overnight) to New York City. I have no idea about the city, how to get around, where to stay, just how far apart the Statue of Liberty and Times Square are (can we walk?) and all that.

So if you've got any advice, I'd love to hear it. We'll be traveling WITH the kids, so obviously where to stay, what to see and how to get around depends greatly on them as well. The 2 musts we have are seeing Lady Liberty as well as Times Square. Any suggestions? Recommendations?

I'm alive!

Sheesh. It's been awhile and for that I apologize. I just haven't had much to say. I've just sort of been trucking along these past few weeks, keeping busy with work, the kids, planning birthday parties and watching the calendar fill up for this summer.

The kids are officially on summer vacation. Today is their first day. How wonderful it was to not hear an alarm at 6:15 this morning (wait - I *did* hear the alarm because a certain someone did not disable it and then stumbled around the room to find the cell phone that was still hidden in some article of clothing, in a pile on the bedroom floor (and that's a whole other post in and of itself!).

Anywho....

Last Friday I took the kids to see UP. I didn't tell them where we were going; just to get in the car and they'd see. Yeah, I'm pretty sure I earned some points with them that day. They were well behaved during the movie, and we all really enjoyed it. Now I look forward to taking them to see Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs in September. And - I had no idea they were making another one - Toy Story 3 will coming out next June!!! I felt like a kid in a candy store during the previews alone. I love Disney.

So, I just wanted to pop in and give a quick update. I'm on vacation starting this weekend (technically it's a "stay-cation" because we're not going anywhere), but it's going to feel a whole lot like work because the week is just about jam-packed with things to do; parties to attend (2), parties to host (2), new baby to visit, and a concert to attend, just to name a few. Plus, Mike is working, so I'll be doing alot of this on my own (all aside from the parties to host, he will be home for that). Busy times!

Don't fret, I haven't jumped yet

Yes it has been awhile since I posted. There wasn't much I had to say. And there wasn't much desire to say or do much of anything (and as I type this, I'm listening to a commercial for cymbalta on TV).

Thankfully, I have good news. Mike got an offer from 1 of the 3 jobs that he landed second interviews with all in the same week.

It came right at the same time the rejection letter from unemployment came.

The same day that as I drove home from work, I contemplated driving my car into a telephone pole.

Let's just say I had a guardian angel, and I couldn't feel more thankful and blessed.

The last time we went through unemployment, it lasted 6 months. This time? 4 weeks.

Yes, I'm thanking my lucky stars.

I have never been more frightened in my life. And I have never felt so much like I wanted life to end.

So, he's already gone through orientation and will be starting training tomorrow. It'll be an adjustment for all of us, not just because he's been home the last month, but also because he'll likely be away from us more.

It may take me some more time to get completely back into the swing of things... Don't get me wrong, I'm feeling a heck of a lot better, but I'm still not entirely "back". Thanks for being patient with me...

Nothin' like kickin' ya while you're down

It's not like there hasn't been enough going on in my life. I'm barely grasping my sanity, my patience is tried on a daily basis and there are times I feel like exploding into a ball of rage.

Tuesday I noticed the underside of my chin was sore. Extremely tender and as I felt around, I noticed a lump. This has happened in the past, and it has resolved itself. This time it's a little more painful, and the lump is bigger. I ignored it as best as I could (which ain't sayin' much) for two days until Friday when I decided to call my doctor.

So, off I go to the doctor, where I explain what's going on, she checks me over and seems puzzled that this lump is not accompanied by any other sickness/symptoms. Then she whips out a little tape measure to actually get a measurement on said lump.

At this point, I'm starting to freak out a little.

She tells me that she's pretty certain it's an infection, but that she wants to send me for a CT scan. Right away. This is the point where the tears fill my eyes and she asks if I'm okay. Then the tears spill over and she says "You've been reading awful things on the internet, haven't you?" and I nod.

She says again that she is doubtful it's anything other than just an infection, but to go ahead and get this checked out, to be on the safe side.

I'm sent off to the waiting room with a script for an antibiotic, while they call my insurance to get it all approved and off I go to the hospital. I sit in the car a moment before I start to leave, and I call my husband to tell him what's going on. And I cry. And I get angry. And then I realize I need to concentrate on the road because even though the hospital is just 2 blocks over, I don't exactly want to end up there in a body bag.

I get there, and lucky for me, I find where I'm supposed to be on the first try. I get through registration, make my way through the maze of hallways back to where radiology is and then I wait.

And I try to keep my shit together because there's other people in the waiting room. But on the inside I'm FREAKING THE FUCK OUT. This is not something you exactly want to do on your own. I wished that I had someone - ANYONE - with me right then, if nothing but to just hold my hand while I waited.

I had no idea what to expect from this test - so imagine my surprise when I found out they'd be injecting me with iodine. The woman that did the scan was wonderful, and she explained everything and told me about how I'd feel a warm sensation throughout my whole body once she injected me, and that I'd probably have an icky taste in my mouth. It didn't take long, and other than the warmth and feeling like I peed my pants (the warm sensation doesn't miss ANY body part) and then the weird spinning I felt (I'm not even sure I can explain it - it wasn't the type of spinning that makes you queasy -- this was crazy spinning as if I was out of control and losing consciousness, but even that didn't feel the same like when you're about to pass out ... really it was just weird).

After the scan was done, she told me that since the doctor ordered it "stat", she wanted me to wait there for the results. This freaked me out even more.

And so I sat. For probably 40 minutes. When the woman came out, she took me aside and said she spoke to the doctor on call at my practice (not my regular doctor) and he said the results were normal and I could head on home and follow up with my doctor if I needed to.

I was relieved and immediately exhausted. It took so much out of me mentally & physically, it wasn't even funny.

I'm on the antibiotic now (taken 3 doses) and am waiting (not so patiently) for it to start working. The lump is still there, and it's still painful. I will follow up with my doctor on Monday, and hopefully by then it will have started to go away.