Taking a cruise over to the park
NKOTB on The Adam Ray Show
11 hours ago
Monday, September 05, 2005
Sunday, September 04, 2005
Jealousy
Okay, so I have to vent.
Lately I've been feeling jealous of others. Others that are having their THIRD child.
I don't know why. I'm not itching to have another baby right now.
Perhaps it's that I don't know if we ever will have another baby. Sometimes I feel like our family should have 1 more .... and other times I feel that the two we have is enough.
I was doing okay until I found out an old online "friend" -- one that was on a mailing list with me, and we didn't always see eye to eye -- is pregnant with her 3rd child. Her 2nd is only a few days younger than Kaelynn.
The main thing that REALLY gets me about it - is - they CAN'T afford it. In her blog - she mentions that she'd love to be able to listen to the baby like she did with her last pregnancy - but that they can't afford the $22/month for the doppler now. HELLO?? Then how can you afford a BABY?
I sometimes wonder about God's "plan" and why He chooses to do certain things. Why give a child to a couple that can't afford it? Not to say the child wouldn't thrive and be loved -- but why give the blessing to a couple that cannot afford it. Sure, a doppler is really a "luxury" that you don't need to have. But -- if there isn't $22/month extra to use as you will (whether it be one meal out to McD's, or just stashed away for an emergency) -- then is there even enough to cover diapers, wipes, formula (okay, so they could be breastfeeding - BUT - things do happen and even breastfeeders with every attempt to keep going cannot for reasons out of their control)?
And why did God's "plan" consist of putting nearly the entire city of New Orleans under water? Thousands and thousands and thousands left homeless, jobless -- many lost their lives.
I can see why some people lose their faith in God. Sometimes I do question Him myself. And I am a believer that all things "happen for a reason" -- but -- what reason would Hurricane Katrina be?
Lately I've been feeling jealous of others. Others that are having their THIRD child.
I don't know why. I'm not itching to have another baby right now.
Perhaps it's that I don't know if we ever will have another baby. Sometimes I feel like our family should have 1 more .... and other times I feel that the two we have is enough.
I was doing okay until I found out an old online "friend" -- one that was on a mailing list with me, and we didn't always see eye to eye -- is pregnant with her 3rd child. Her 2nd is only a few days younger than Kaelynn.
The main thing that REALLY gets me about it - is - they CAN'T afford it. In her blog - she mentions that she'd love to be able to listen to the baby like she did with her last pregnancy - but that they can't afford the $22/month for the doppler now. HELLO?? Then how can you afford a BABY?
I sometimes wonder about God's "plan" and why He chooses to do certain things. Why give a child to a couple that can't afford it? Not to say the child wouldn't thrive and be loved -- but why give the blessing to a couple that cannot afford it. Sure, a doppler is really a "luxury" that you don't need to have. But -- if there isn't $22/month extra to use as you will (whether it be one meal out to McD's, or just stashed away for an emergency) -- then is there even enough to cover diapers, wipes, formula (okay, so they could be breastfeeding - BUT - things do happen and even breastfeeders with every attempt to keep going cannot for reasons out of their control)?
And why did God's "plan" consist of putting nearly the entire city of New Orleans under water? Thousands and thousands and thousands left homeless, jobless -- many lost their lives.
I can see why some people lose their faith in God. Sometimes I do question Him myself. And I am a believer that all things "happen for a reason" -- but -- what reason would Hurricane Katrina be?
Friday, September 02, 2005
Heartbreaking
Because of the move, I hadn't watched tv in a week. I was starting to feel very disconnected from the world. Even though I don't watch much tv in the first place - not having it to catch a few minutes of news coverage or whatnot made me feel lost.
I had heard about Katrina, but thought it was just a tropical storm - nothing to write home about. And being in the midwest, the most we may see from the hurricanes and tropical storms are some rain showers. So, on Monday I started hearing more and more on the radio - and I felt like I was trapped in a bubble and could not get the rest of the information.
Then an online friend (originally from Louisiana, now stationed in Nevada) posted that her some of her husband's family was missing. 6 relatives were missing. Finally, 5 of them were located yesterday. The 6th was located today. All are safe. They've lost everything - but all of them have their lives.
It was around the time of her post - and the more I was hearing on the radio (the news that 80% of New Orleans was underwater - some areas as deep as 20 feet had me the most curious) - that I was wondering what on earth was going on down there. Then I started checking online news stories, the NOLA website ..... it was then that I realized just how horrible the situation was.
And it seems that the more I read and the more pictures I see now, the more horrible it truly is. So many people without homes. Without clothes. Some without their loved ones. So many people with NOTHING left and nothing to return to. Everything just gone.
Hurricane Katrina showed no mercy on them. From my understanding 3 states were hit the worst, and Mississippi's death toll is already nearing 150 (the last time I checked). And New Orlean's mayor was estimating hundreds - most likely THOUSANDS - dead. It's so sad. So, so, so sad.
While it's not effecting me as much as 9/11 did - I'm still feeling helpless and upset. I still want to cry for those people and wish I was closer to lend a helping hand.
I did do something. Maybe it's not alot - but it still felt good. Another online friend lives right outside of Houston. Since many of the refugees were sent to the Astrodome, there are some collections being taken at churches and such. She mentioned that she had taken some boxes of things over, and that these volunteers sort through the boxes and are immediately handing these things out. So late last night, I packed up a box of women's shirts, a few baby outfits, a baby blanket, some washcloths, cotton balls, plastic bowls, bars of soap, sheets, plastic spoons/forks/knives and some toddler "graduate" meals and I shipped it off to my friend today. Once she gets it, she'll take it over and instantly the items I donated will be going to a victim.
My heart goes out to those affected & my prayers are with them all.
I had heard about Katrina, but thought it was just a tropical storm - nothing to write home about. And being in the midwest, the most we may see from the hurricanes and tropical storms are some rain showers. So, on Monday I started hearing more and more on the radio - and I felt like I was trapped in a bubble and could not get the rest of the information.
Then an online friend (originally from Louisiana, now stationed in Nevada) posted that her some of her husband's family was missing. 6 relatives were missing. Finally, 5 of them were located yesterday. The 6th was located today. All are safe. They've lost everything - but all of them have their lives.
It was around the time of her post - and the more I was hearing on the radio (the news that 80% of New Orleans was underwater - some areas as deep as 20 feet had me the most curious) - that I was wondering what on earth was going on down there. Then I started checking online news stories, the NOLA website ..... it was then that I realized just how horrible the situation was.
And it seems that the more I read and the more pictures I see now, the more horrible it truly is. So many people without homes. Without clothes. Some without their loved ones. So many people with NOTHING left and nothing to return to. Everything just gone.
Hurricane Katrina showed no mercy on them. From my understanding 3 states were hit the worst, and Mississippi's death toll is already nearing 150 (the last time I checked). And New Orlean's mayor was estimating hundreds - most likely THOUSANDS - dead. It's so sad. So, so, so sad.
While it's not effecting me as much as 9/11 did - I'm still feeling helpless and upset. I still want to cry for those people and wish I was closer to lend a helping hand.
I did do something. Maybe it's not alot - but it still felt good. Another online friend lives right outside of Houston. Since many of the refugees were sent to the Astrodome, there are some collections being taken at churches and such. She mentioned that she had taken some boxes of things over, and that these volunteers sort through the boxes and are immediately handing these things out. So late last night, I packed up a box of women's shirts, a few baby outfits, a baby blanket, some washcloths, cotton balls, plastic bowls, bars of soap, sheets, plastic spoons/forks/knives and some toddler "graduate" meals and I shipped it off to my friend today. Once she gets it, she'll take it over and instantly the items I donated will be going to a victim.
My heart goes out to those affected & my prayers are with them all.
Monday, August 29, 2005
Phew!
I have a few moments, so let me try to fill you in with everything that has gone on.
We closed on the new house Aug 19, and spent the first week moving smaller carloads over and going shopping for new things for the house. The big move was yesterday, and we've been busy getting settled and unpacked. We still have a maze of boxes in the house and the garage is FULL of more.
Oh - and before I go on about that house - the bit of BAD news. Mike lost his job on Friday. Complete surprise. He called me early afternoon and broke the news. Their reasoning? The store "wasn't performing the way they had hoped" and at a visit they made (4 months prior), the store was dirty. Mike said the store was dirty, but they came in right after a rush (and - while cleanliness is a good thing - IMO - it's a DRIVE-THRU coffee place for pete's sake - who cares if the store wasn't so spic-n-span that you could eat off the floor??). So anyway. I could tell that was a blow to his ego. Poor guy. They don't know what they did. He's a great worker - and sometimes I even feel that he puts his job first before other things (and trust me, that poses marriage/family problems). Surprisingly enough I haven't lost my mind over this whole thing. My happy pills definitely are doing their job. I was mellow the whole time. My outlook is this -- while the job was nice and it was better than the last one -- it still wasn't a FANTASTIC job - and I KNOW there is something even BETTER out there. Everything happens for a reason.
And now back to the house ... the new furniture is being delivered tomorrow morning (bummer - I'll be at work, but at least I had today off). And then on Thursday the cable company will be coming out to hook up the cable and broadband. Sucks that DSL isn't available in our area - but hey - I'll take ANY high speed access we can get since we've been using dial-up forever. No more 56K connections! YAY!!
So ... I think that's all on the work & house front. As for the kids - they are doing well. Last night (first night sleeping in the new house) was a little rough. The kids were a little harder to put to bed, but after that slept wonderfully. I am dealing with allergies, so between the stuffy/runny nose and the fact that it was the first night here - I tossed and turned much of the night. I'm hoping I get a much more restful sleep tonight as I'll be up early to head off to work.
I suppose that's a good enough update for now. It's after 9pm and there is some cake downstairs that is calling my name along with a big glass of milk. :)
We closed on the new house Aug 19, and spent the first week moving smaller carloads over and going shopping for new things for the house. The big move was yesterday, and we've been busy getting settled and unpacked. We still have a maze of boxes in the house and the garage is FULL of more.
Oh - and before I go on about that house - the bit of BAD news. Mike lost his job on Friday. Complete surprise. He called me early afternoon and broke the news. Their reasoning? The store "wasn't performing the way they had hoped" and at a visit they made (4 months prior), the store was dirty. Mike said the store was dirty, but they came in right after a rush (and - while cleanliness is a good thing - IMO - it's a DRIVE-THRU coffee place for pete's sake - who cares if the store wasn't so spic-n-span that you could eat off the floor??). So anyway. I could tell that was a blow to his ego. Poor guy. They don't know what they did. He's a great worker - and sometimes I even feel that he puts his job first before other things (and trust me, that poses marriage/family problems). Surprisingly enough I haven't lost my mind over this whole thing. My happy pills definitely are doing their job. I was mellow the whole time. My outlook is this -- while the job was nice and it was better than the last one -- it still wasn't a FANTASTIC job - and I KNOW there is something even BETTER out there. Everything happens for a reason.
And now back to the house ... the new furniture is being delivered tomorrow morning (bummer - I'll be at work, but at least I had today off). And then on Thursday the cable company will be coming out to hook up the cable and broadband. Sucks that DSL isn't available in our area - but hey - I'll take ANY high speed access we can get since we've been using dial-up forever. No more 56K connections! YAY!!
So ... I think that's all on the work & house front. As for the kids - they are doing well. Last night (first night sleeping in the new house) was a little rough. The kids were a little harder to put to bed, but after that slept wonderfully. I am dealing with allergies, so between the stuffy/runny nose and the fact that it was the first night here - I tossed and turned much of the night. I'm hoping I get a much more restful sleep tonight as I'll be up early to head off to work.
I suppose that's a good enough update for now. It's after 9pm and there is some cake downstairs that is calling my name along with a big glass of milk. :)
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